Soccer Superstar!

April was a slightly insane month, and I'm a little bit behind on sharing our April happenings! A couple of weeks ago Max's soccer season came to an end, and I feel that I haven't shared many pictures from his soccer games. He really enjoyed soccer this year and was disappointed when it was over.

Coach Coen often gave him some wise words throughout the season

Most of the time Max was very involved in the game,

Although sometimes he was a sitting duck :)

Water breaks were often needed after all of that running!

It's a good thing red cards aren't given during the 4 year old's games!

Max on the go!

Our Superstar!

When he wasn't picking flowers, he was a pretty good soccer player!

Team Orange! (What can I say? Our kid is meant to play for the official orange team of Holland!)

Hooray for a fun season!!

And hooray for trophies!! Great job, baby!

I love you Max! <3 Mommy

Troy Psychology Conference

On April 22nd I presented an academic poster at the Troy Psychology Conference 

Many hours went into the paper that I wrote, and this poster that came out of it. I'm quite proud :)

Lauren, Krista, and Me 

Me & My poster 

And again... I told you I was proud!!

All of the poster presenters from our Psychology of Women class! We worked really hard this semester!

And speaking of working hard, in the midst of the craziness this past week I had my final exams. I have been working so hard to get straight A's, but I thought I for sure blew my chance when I took my English exam last Friday. Final grades were posted last night... and I lucked out! I ended up with a 90/ 100 (A) on my English exam and got straight A's after all! It sure is nice to have some good news for a change!

Day 5: Forever Goodbye

The last 4 days are a blur of crying, screaming, questioning... and then silence. It's been extremely hard for me to make last Thursday's events a reality. Yes, I got the phone call. Yes, I sat around all day in disbelief. Yes, my husband thankfully came home. I just cannot (will not?) accept the truth that Rob's colleague, Wilma's husband, our friend.... is gone forever.

Today Richard was gracefully and beautifully brought to his final resting place. I've looked forward to this day with much anticipation, sadness, and fear. Grief has overwhelmed this house for the past few days, and I needed confirmation that this nightmare was a reality-- as much as I wish this nightmare had been just that, a nightmare. 

It has been overwhelmingly difficult for me to not put Rob in Richard's shoes. I feel incredibly selfish for thinking this way, because a wonderful woman actually did lose her husband. But in the moments that I have time to let my thoughts wonder I look at our beautiful children, at the life we are building here in America, and then at myself in the mirror, and I wonder how the hell I would do this alone. 

It's true what they say... "you never realize what you have until it's gone." As unfortunate as it is, this tragic event has been a huge slap in the face to make us realize what we have. Our hugs are a little bit longer and tighter, our "I love yous" are heard more often, and we aren't so quick to tell the boys "I'm too tired" to play a game. 

The service yesterday was breathtakingly beautiful. He was buried with full Dutch and American military honors at sunset at a serene location. Gunshots fired as Wilma and her family were presented with both the Dutch and American flags. They did a roll call of Richard's colleagues. Rob's name was called, and tears fell from my cheeks as I heard him loudly say, "Here First Sargent!" Captain Richard v/d Perre was called. There was silence. He was called two more times, and my last hope of hearing him chime in with, "WAZZUP?" was gone with the chilling silence that followed. And as the sun began to seep below the tree line, Richard's family followed him to his final resting place.

Rust zacht, vriend.

Fly Forever.

May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be ever at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face, and the rain fall softly on your fields. And until we meet again, may God hold you in the hollow of his hand.

Easter 2011

Day 2: A New Normal

My dad died when I was 8. I clearly remember the days following his death, I just wanted life to be normal again. I wanted to see my mom smile, I wanted to go to school and play with my friends, and I kept waiting for my dad to walk through the door saying, "surprise! It was all just a nightmare, I'm here!" That of course never happened. Pretending life was "normal" and trying to make my mom laugh was part of my new routine-- it was my way of dealing with the loss of my father. Eventually we adapted to his absence, life went on, and we created a new "normal."

Today, I feel like that 8 year old girl trying to wish things back to the way they were. When I awoke early this morning after a fitful nights sleep, I thought maybe everything was okay. Maybe it really was just a bad dream after all... But when I rolled over and saw the sadness consuming my husband, I knew that this nightmare was the beginning of our new normal. 

The initial shock has worn off a bit, and now there is a process to be followed. I had to go to the store to pick up flowers and a card for Wilma. Shit, what kind of flowers do you buy? Not too cheery and bright, not too morbid... A card had to be picked out-- all of them were terrible. Not one card depicted the words and emotions that I needed to express. Hell, I can't even formulate the words to describe how I feel, or how I feel for Wilma. 

Rob must go to Wilma's house with the other Dutch pilot and the Commander. Hugs will be given, tears will be shed, a wave of emotions will flood the room. But nothing can be done now. These are all just steps that must be taken for everyone to begin adapting to the new normal.

I feel like an elephant is sitting on my chest. It's hard to breathe. All I want to do is scream and cry, but I feel as if my voice is broken and my tears are dried up. Rob is hanging in there, and as good as can be for having just experienced the most traumatic day of his life. 

We've received many e-mails, phone calls, and texts full of love and support. I thank every one of you for them. The outflow of support that we've received is amazing, and much needed. As much as I would love to respond to everyone, I just don't have the energy to. So please, take this blog post as a big THANK YOU to each and every one of you for showing your love and support in the past 24 hours.

Please keep Wilma, Richard's wife, in your hearts. She is the one that needs the most support right now. We love you all, and I will try to keep everyone updated as regularly as possible. 

XOXO, Whitney

Life Can Change in a Moment...

Life can change in a moment- a fact that I have been repeatedly reminded to throughout my life. 

This morning began like any other. I kissed Rob goodbye as he left for work, and for some reason this morning I hugged him extra close and said, "be careful, I love you." I went on about my day. Today my biggest concern was getting an "A" on a final that I had this afternoon. My biggest concern suddenly changed when I got a call from one of Rob's colleagues-- he said there had been an accident. I jerked my car off of the road and tried to listen to the jumble of words that he was saying. I finally understood that Rob was flying behind the apache that had an accident and he was okay. Unfortunately, his fellow Dutch instructor pilot was not. Captain R. van de Perre died on impact of the crash. 

After hearing the news I got on post as fast as I could and sat in shock with the rest of the instructor wives. I didn't (and still don't) know what to do with myself, what to feel, what to say. I only know that I am thankful that my husband got to come home tonight, but I feel so f*cking selfish that I get to have him home and his wife doesn't. WHY WHY WHY? I'm angry, overwhelmingly sad, and hurting. Hurting for what my husband and his friends experienced, hurting for the loss of a great pilot, hurting for his family....

Rob and the other pilots involved in today's terrible accident are home now. It's going to be a long grieving process for everyone involved, and I ask you all to keep everyone in the apache community at Ft. Rucker in your hearts for the coming days. 

Tell your loved ones that you love them, hug them a little bit tighter, and be thankful for everyday that you have because you never know when it will be your last.

Rest In Peace, Richard. You will be greatly missed. 

Tornadoes

I've gotten several e-mails, texts, and Facebook messages asking how we are doing after the storms tore through Alabama yesterday and last night, so I thought I'd address everyone here. 

Thankfully Enterprise only experienced a severe thunderstorm last night with tornado warnings, and no actual tornadoes. Unfortunately, the rest of Alabama was not as lucky as we were. As of right now the death toll is climbing at 197, and the news reports are expecting to find more bodies since daylight has broken. 

Tuscaloosa and Birmingham (about 2hrs north of us) seemed to be hit the hardest from these storms. An employee at the University of Alabama (in Tuscaloosa) captured this massive tornado that can be seen here. (<--link)

And a picture from The Birmingham News can be seen below. 

We've already been hit by several bad storms this spring. The pictures below are of lightning from the previous tornado warning that we had on 15 April. These pictures were taken at 2am just to give you an idea of how bright the lightning is.

Even though we were lucky enough to escape the tornadoes this time, I ask that you please keep the rest of our state in your thoughts as they begin picking up the pieces this morning.