Day 2: A New Normal

My dad died when I was 8. I clearly remember the days following his death, I just wanted life to be normal again. I wanted to see my mom smile, I wanted to go to school and play with my friends, and I kept waiting for my dad to walk through the door saying, "surprise! It was all just a nightmare, I'm here!" That of course never happened. Pretending life was "normal" and trying to make my mom laugh was part of my new routine-- it was my way of dealing with the loss of my father. Eventually we adapted to his absence, life went on, and we created a new "normal."

Today, I feel like that 8 year old girl trying to wish things back to the way they were. When I awoke early this morning after a fitful nights sleep, I thought maybe everything was okay. Maybe it really was just a bad dream after all... But when I rolled over and saw the sadness consuming my husband, I knew that this nightmare was the beginning of our new normal. 

The initial shock has worn off a bit, and now there is a process to be followed. I had to go to the store to pick up flowers and a card for Wilma. Shit, what kind of flowers do you buy? Not too cheery and bright, not too morbid... A card had to be picked out-- all of them were terrible. Not one card depicted the words and emotions that I needed to express. Hell, I can't even formulate the words to describe how I feel, or how I feel for Wilma. 

Rob must go to Wilma's house with the other Dutch pilot and the Commander. Hugs will be given, tears will be shed, a wave of emotions will flood the room. But nothing can be done now. These are all just steps that must be taken for everyone to begin adapting to the new normal.

I feel like an elephant is sitting on my chest. It's hard to breathe. All I want to do is scream and cry, but I feel as if my voice is broken and my tears are dried up. Rob is hanging in there, and as good as can be for having just experienced the most traumatic day of his life. 

We've received many e-mails, phone calls, and texts full of love and support. I thank every one of you for them. The outflow of support that we've received is amazing, and much needed. As much as I would love to respond to everyone, I just don't have the energy to. So please, take this blog post as a big THANK YOU to each and every one of you for showing your love and support in the past 24 hours.

Please keep Wilma, Richard's wife, in your hearts. She is the one that needs the most support right now. We love you all, and I will try to keep everyone updated as regularly as possible. 

XOXO, Whitney

Life Can Change in a Moment...

Life can change in a moment- a fact that I have been repeatedly reminded to throughout my life. 

This morning began like any other. I kissed Rob goodbye as he left for work, and for some reason this morning I hugged him extra close and said, "be careful, I love you." I went on about my day. Today my biggest concern was getting an "A" on a final that I had this afternoon. My biggest concern suddenly changed when I got a call from one of Rob's colleagues-- he said there had been an accident. I jerked my car off of the road and tried to listen to the jumble of words that he was saying. I finally understood that Rob was flying behind the apache that had an accident and he was okay. Unfortunately, his fellow Dutch instructor pilot was not. Captain R. van de Perre died on impact of the crash. 

After hearing the news I got on post as fast as I could and sat in shock with the rest of the instructor wives. I didn't (and still don't) know what to do with myself, what to feel, what to say. I only know that I am thankful that my husband got to come home tonight, but I feel so f*cking selfish that I get to have him home and his wife doesn't. WHY WHY WHY? I'm angry, overwhelmingly sad, and hurting. Hurting for what my husband and his friends experienced, hurting for the loss of a great pilot, hurting for his family....

Rob and the other pilots involved in today's terrible accident are home now. It's going to be a long grieving process for everyone involved, and I ask you all to keep everyone in the apache community at Ft. Rucker in your hearts for the coming days. 

Tell your loved ones that you love them, hug them a little bit tighter, and be thankful for everyday that you have because you never know when it will be your last.

Rest In Peace, Richard. You will be greatly missed. 

Tornadoes

I've gotten several e-mails, texts, and Facebook messages asking how we are doing after the storms tore through Alabama yesterday and last night, so I thought I'd address everyone here. 

Thankfully Enterprise only experienced a severe thunderstorm last night with tornado warnings, and no actual tornadoes. Unfortunately, the rest of Alabama was not as lucky as we were. As of right now the death toll is climbing at 197, and the news reports are expecting to find more bodies since daylight has broken. 

Tuscaloosa and Birmingham (about 2hrs north of us) seemed to be hit the hardest from these storms. An employee at the University of Alabama (in Tuscaloosa) captured this massive tornado that can be seen here. (<--link)

And a picture from The Birmingham News can be seen below. 

We've already been hit by several bad storms this spring. The pictures below are of lightning from the previous tornado warning that we had on 15 April. These pictures were taken at 2am just to give you an idea of how bright the lightning is.

Even though we were lucky enough to escape the tornadoes this time, I ask that you please keep the rest of our state in your thoughts as they begin picking up the pieces this morning.

Dyeing Eggs and Cheesy Faces

How to Dye Easter Eggs and Make the Cheesiest Faces Possible: A Photographic Journey

TA-DA! Finally we finished the eggs and were able to manage a "normal" smile! Although I personally think all of his goofy smiles are fabulous :)

And just for fun... check out this shaggy-haired-haven't-seen-the-sun-in-ages little 3-year-old version of Max dyeing eggs last year! 

Life's a Beach... (sometimes)

We needed a break. Our schedules are still insane, and I've been working extremely hard to get my end-of-the-semester papers and projects done. I usually work on schoolwork during the weekend, but I decided that  we all needed a much deserved break, so we planned a day in Destin, Florida. 

We loaded the car with a tent, chairs, beach toys, towels, a cooler filled with cold drinks, and lots of sunscreen. After all, we would need it-- it was going to be 90 degrees (32C)! We had a gorgeous drive down to the beach: good music to listen to, the sun beaming down on us, and the air conditioning blowing in our faces. Everyone was in a great mood and looking forward to a day filled with sun and fun until we saw this:

A huge line of clouds lined the beach and filled the air with fog. But alas, I was determined to enjoy a day on the beach. So we unpacked our car, and set up camp.

Rob was trying to catch sand fleas to go fishing with...

....and he ended up catch a not-so-happy crab

Max had fun making castles and farming strawberries,

And being the cheesy little dude that he is!

Lucas enjoyed eating handfuls of sand and getting our chairs wet and sandy!

Max was the lion of the beach. I think he makes a pretty cute lion so we decided to take him home :)

Rob kept catching crabs and irritating them. I told him to leave them alone, but he wouldn't listen and ended up with a pincher in his finger. This proves that men should always listen to their wives!

Lucas naturally had his moments that day, but was overall quite pleasant as long as he could eat sand!

Rob enjoyed (trying) to catch fish.

And Lucas gave me his NOM NOM NOM face. (He sometimes makes the "nom nom" sound when he eats) 

I gave up on trying to keep the sand off of his face!

CHEESE!

Yeah, I know... I cringe too thinking about how that sand must have crunched in between his mouth!

Max wanted a picture with his brother,

...but then decided that he needed to be the main focus!

Several jellyfish had washed up on the beach. This particular one is very poisonous and is called a Portuguese Man of War

Just before we went home Rob brought in the biggest (and only) catch of the day! But don't get too excited, it was just a bunch of seaweed! hehe :)