From Windmills to Cotton Fields: C'est la vie

I haven’t been good at keeping up with the blog lately. Some days I am full of thoughts I would like to share with the entire world, and other days are spent reflecting in solitary silence. The words that I would like to share are most likely ones that would get me in trouble. If you know me, you know I am very opinionated and am (usually) not afraid to share my opinions. However, given the delicacy of our ongoing situation, I’ve learned that it’s best if I keep the known truths and opinions to myself.

I would love to tell you all that life is grand, and that after 10 months of hell things are finally getting back to normal. But that’s not the case, not yet, and maybe never. I am not ready to share the specifics of what is going on, but I can tell you that life is getting better. We have recently had a few positive breakthroughs and life is a little sunnier than it once was.

It’s a scary thing, to have other people determine what your future is going to be. Whatever our new future is, it will not be the same as the life we once had, but it will also not be any worse as long as we are together.

It has become a luxury to have my husband home, and we are thankful to be together every moment. I’ve spent the last few months doing a lot of soul searching. My motto in life, as cliché as it may be, is that all things happen for a reason. I’ve taken away a lot of life lessons from this experience. If nothing else, I appreciate life more, my children, my husband, my marriage, my family. I’ve learned who my real friends are, the ones that were just there when I needed them, not the ones who just wanted to spread gossip. I’ve learned that not all people can be trusted, and sometimes bad things do happen to good people.

Days like today I just want to SCREAM at the universe, “IT’S ENOUGH! I’VE LEARNED SO MUCH! YOU CAN GIVE US OUR LIVES BACK NOW!” Then I remind myself that there is a plan, and I cannot always be in control of the plan or the outcome. So for today, I will just stop and breathe and enjoy the moment because we have so much to be thankful for!

Enough depressing garbage… I am sure you all are much more interested in hearing about the good stuff J

Lucas has become quite a character. He is not afraid to tell you what he wants, and loves to goof off with his older brother. He is doing well in “school,” but his teacher sent home a typed note the other day stating that Lucas had very.bad.behavior one afternoon, and that we need to sit down and discuss this with him. The idea of sitting down with my two year old and having a very.serious.discussion. with him makes me laugh!

Max has become an outstanding student. He is the top reader in his class, and has become quite good at arithmetic. He marks the days with his spider-man calendar and there are big circles where he has written “PAPA HOME!” So sweet. He started soccer again last week. This year he is playing up a level, with the 6-7 year olds, and guess what? Yes, he is still the tallest on his team!

Rob is continuing to fight the good fight. His strength never ceases to amaze me. I’m so happy to have him at home now, and I have developed such a deep respect for single moms. It’s not easy!

I haven't been taking many pictures lately, but I will share a few of my favorites over the past few months